Don’t Hate. Interrogate. A Smarter Way to Enhance Your Life and Career

Let’s be honest. What do you do when someone is living a life you want…building something you’ve been dreaming about…or showing up in a way you haven’t quite stepped into yet?

Do you critique it? Dismiss it? Quietly compare? Or… do you get curious?

Consider my invitation: Replace comparison with inquiry. Replace envy with intention.

Because what you admire in someone else is rarely random. It’s information. It’s insight. It’s a clue.

If you’ve been following my work and message around helping educators and entrepreneurs increase their value, you already know this invitation aligns with how I approach growth .

Honoring the Women Who Showed Me How

In the spirit of Women’s History Month, I openly acknowledge the women who have loved, mentored, coached and molded me into the woman, mother and professional I am today. These women have helped shape how I move through the world, which is with curiosity, courage, and conviction.

Please allow me to call just a few names of the MANY women who have nurtured me - Pearlie (my mommy), Marsharine, Lonnie and Louann (my aunties), Glecia (my sister), Auntie Mae (my late Godmother), Sherry (my late God Sister), Dr. Day (my mentor), Constance (my counselor and coach), Easter, Nana, Charmaine, Linda, Debbie, Cindra, Mrs. Tunstall... The list goes on, filled with mentors who poured wisdom, truth, and opportunity into my life.

These women didn’t just inspire me; they modeled what was possible.

They answered my questions.

They challenged my thinking.

They opened doors and taught me how to walk through them with purpose and grace.

Much of my success is rooted in observing, asking, actively listening, and applying what they so generously shared, which is something deeply connected to my journey and work.

And that commitment to lifting others as we climb continues through initiatives like the Dr. Bisa Foundation supporting education and entrepreneurship.

What It Means to Interrogate, Not Hate

Instead of “hating,” or responding jealously, interrogate the process.

Not aggressively. Not superficially. But with humility, clarity, and intention.

This is what strategic curiosity looks like in action:

• “I’ve been in a bit of a style rut…”

• “Your children show up with such confidence…”

• “I admire how you’ve built your career…”

• “I’m exploring a transition into your field…”

• “If you were starting over today…”

This approach isn’t about flattery. It's about intentional learning and professional growth.

Why Strategic Curiosity Accelerates Success

Over the years, I’ve built my career and impact not in isolation, but through mentorship, observation, and inquiry.

I’ve asked questions.

I’ve listened closely.

I’ve applied what aligned.

And I still do. Because growth doesn’t stop when you reach a milestone; it evolves.

If you want to hear real conversations with experts, leaders, and innovators, I invite you to explore or review The P-A-I-D Educator Podcast conversations and insights.

Shift Your Mindset to Elevate Your Results

The next time you find yourself comparing, pause and ask:

• What specifically am I drawn to here?

• What mindset, discipline, or strategy might be behind this?

• Am I willing to do the work required to achieve similar results?

That last question is where transformation begins.

Mentorship, Networking, and Asking Better Questions

Interrogation is NOT about access for access’ sake. It’s NOT about taking; it’s about engaging with intention.

To truly benefit from mentorship and professional relationships:

• Be respectful of people’s time and expertise.

• Be clear about what you’re asking.

• Be prepared to apply what you learn.

That’s how you turn a conversation into growth.

An Open Invitation to Learn and Grow

Many of you reach out to me with questions. I welcome that. If I’ve already created something to support you, I’ll point you there—whether it’s a book, training, or resource.

If not, it may just become the next thing I create. So ask, inquire, and engage.

Remember to leverage the wisdom around you. Honor those who’ve poured into you, especially the women who have shaped your journey. Because one saying remains true: "Closed mouths don’t get fed."

But intentional, well-placed questions? They open doors.